fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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