No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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