I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I don't deserve a penis
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
