Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
