I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
