She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
