She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
