i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
