Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
