Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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