Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
