So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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