Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
soo... how was my night?
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