Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
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