Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I wish you could order shots online.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My life is pants optional.
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