Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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