Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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