your thong is hanging out like whoa
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
