I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
