false alarm. still invincible.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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