Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
