I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
