3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
the day after is always just damage control
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He has the fingertips of a God
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