Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
