just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
