One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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