i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
