Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
