She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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