Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Randomize
