Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
This house was built for laser tag.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
