You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
