Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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