we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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