Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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