Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
