Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
