Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
