HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
