I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
