the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
