Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize