There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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