What a fucking waste of an outfit
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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