found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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