is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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