Pappa wants mamma naked
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
