I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize