i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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