ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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