it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
