I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
