k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
