The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
