The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
