i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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