Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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