we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
