dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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