You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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