Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
