i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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