maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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