Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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