yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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