He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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