the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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